Tuesday, 17 August 2010

The Saga of the DJ and the Promoter

I had to just take this from Funk Butchers twitter page and post it up here, cos it's SO TRUE! I swear any DJ will understand this. It's too funny... he smacked it right on the head! Big up to Funk Butcher for all this, follow him on twitter at @funkbutcher

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PROMOTER: hello is this funk butcher?id like to book u for my rave on the XX at XXXX....how much do u charge?


FUNK BUTCHER: yes bro, i charge XX for an hours set? is that cool?


PROMOTER:yes thats fine....ill forward you the details and the flyer info, do u mind sending an invite to your friends on facebook...


FUNK BUTCHER:actually yes i do mind...is that not your job to promote bro?


PROMOTER:(uncomfortable laugh) yeh yeh!! ok ill forward u the details then...safe (or cheers if the promoters from essex) This bit kills me!


.......APPROX 3 WEEKS LATER......


(funk butcher arrives at venue pin-points promoter) 


FUNK BUTCHER: yes bro...funk butcher....we all good payment wise?


PROMOTER:yeh bro all good....your on at 1am main set ting....mash it up yeh, give them bare bangers an that!!


FUNK BUTCHER:ok bro will do


(set finished).....


(waiting by the entrance of the rave for the promoter.......finally arrives)


FUNK BUTCHER:yes bro...looking to make a move now....you got the payment sorted?


PROMOTER:FAM!...you kno wat it is....


FUNK BUTCHER:NO! i dont.....but pray tell!!


PROMOTER: it was the first night and we didnt get the numbers as expected BLAH BLAH YACKETY YACKETY...


FUNK BUTCHER:meaning.....


PROMOTER:WELL!! can i give you XXX and is that cool....or maybe..


NOW LET ME TELL YOU!!! EVERYONE IN MUSIC....AND WHO HAS PERFORMED,DJ'D IN LONDON AS BEEN THROUGH THIS!!#fact


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ONCE AGAIN BIG UP FUNK BUTCHER ON THIS ONE! TOO FUNNY

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Usual stories are...

- Numbers didn't add up, we barely got enough to cover the headliner
- Someone stole cash out of the door till
- The venue have ripped us off cos we didnt get enough people through the door
- OR envelope with cash is short at least two notes

That is if the promoter decides to show his face until the very end of the show.

After a few years you begin to spot the type of gig this happens at from a mile away.

Solution is...
- Just avoid these gigs all together
- Agree to take full payment aor 50% in advance
- Get a booking agent so this simply doesn't happen, or you at least have someone who can chase it up for you
- Don't take any shit
- Always turn up with a couple mates
- Realise that being called something like Funk Butcher makes u prime target for chancers

However to be fair to the promoters its a shame u wont invite your facebook mates after all ppl who follow u are probs ur biggest (or only) fans and why wouldnt u tell them about a gig your doing? Yeah its not your job but its part of being a musician that normally u want your listeners to see u live.

Anonymous said...

Refusing to hit your people up on Facebook? What sort of fuckery is that? Who wouldn't want to spend 5 minutes telling people on Facebook about your own gig? That could well be the difference between you getting paid and not.

GoldieLocks said...

Woah getting heated here! personally I'm happy to do the FB thing as I want as many people at the show. However there are some promoters out there who really don't do ANY promoting at all and expect you to put your FB foto as the flyer etc which I think is slightly overstepping the mark.